How to Let Go of Who You “Should Be” and Embrace Who You Are 🌿✨

A Guide for Young Adults Finding Their Way 🌿✨

Do you ever feel like you’re living your life according to a script you didn’t actually write?
As a young adult, maybe you catch yourself thinking:

• “I should be more successful by now.”

• “I should want what everyone else wants.”

• “I should be stronger, calmer, happier, more productive…”

These “shoulds” can feel like a quiet pressure sitting on your chest—always nudging, criticizing, comparing.
And if you’re like many young adults, you may feel torn between who you really are and who you think you’re supposed to be.

You’re not alone.
Letting go of the “should-be” version of yourself is one of the most transformative steps toward emotional freedom—especially in young adulthood, a life stage full of expectations, transitions, and identity exploration.

Where Do All These “Shoulds” Come From?

Nobody starts life believing they’re not enough. For many young adults, these expectations come from:

👨‍👩‍👧 Family messages – spoken or unspoken rules about what success, strength, or happiness should look like.
🌍 Cultural norms – ideas about the “right” way to live, love, look, or behave.
📱 Social media – endless comparison to carefully curated lives.
❤️ Relationships – bending yourself to be loved, accepted, or chosen.
🧠 Past experiences – old wounds that taught you it felt safer to hide parts of yourself.

Over time, these influences create an internal blueprint of who you should be—often at the cost of who you actually are as a young adult exploring your own identity.

The Cost of Living a “Should” Life

For many young adults, shaping yourself around expectations instead of authenticity can lead to:

● constant self-criticism
● exhaustion and burnout
● feeling disconnected from your own desires
● resentment or emptiness
● relationships that don’t feel aligned
● anxiety from trying to maintain a version of yourself that doesn’t fit

Being who you “should be” may win approval—but it rarely brings peace.

How to Begin Letting Go 🌱

1️⃣ Notice the Shoulds

When you hear the voice saying, “I should…,” pause and ask:
“Whose voice is that? Mine? My family’s? Society’s?”

Awareness is the first step for any young adult trying to break old patterns.

2️⃣ Get Curious About the Fear

The “should” voice often protects you from something—rejection, failure, vulnerability.
Ask yourself:
“What feels scary about being my real self?”

Exploring this is a powerful step for young adults learning to trust themselves.

3️⃣ Practice Small Acts of Authenticity

Being yourself doesn’t require a huge life overhaul. Start small:
● Say how you really feel.
● Wear what feels like you—not what you “should” wear.
● Choose activities that spark genuine interest.
● Allow yourself boundaries and preferences.

Every small act helps young adults build a sense of identity and inner confidence.

4️⃣ Release the Myth of the ‘Ideal You’

There is no perfect version of yourself waiting to be achieved.
There is only the real you—messy, evolving, human.

This is one of the core lessons in therapy for young adults: perfection is an illusion.

5️⃣ Surround Yourself With People Who See You

Authenticity grows in supportive environments.
Seek relationships where you can show up fully—without performing or pretending.

This is often a central theme in psychotherapy for young adults, where clients explore the roles they’ve been performing and the parts of themselves they’ve been hiding.

How Therapy Helps Young Adults Embrace Their True Selves 💬❤️

Therapy for young adults, including psychotherapy for young adults and counseling for young adults, provides a safe space to:

● explore how your “shoulds” developed
● understand what they’re protecting
● see how these patterns show up in relationships
● reconnect with your true voice, desires, and identity

In therapy, you begin dismantling the expectations that kept you small—and rediscover the version of yourself that’s been there all along.

A Call to Young Adults Ready to Step Into Themselves 🌟

Letting go of who you “should be” is one of the bravest things a young adult can do.
It’s choosing freedom over fear, authenticity over approval, and truth over perfection.

👉 If you’re ready to explore who you really are, therapy for young adults can help you make room for the version of yourself that feels real, grounded, and whole.

You don’t have to become someone else.
You just have to come home to yourself. 🌿